To Obey is to be Ok
To Obey is to be Okay
To Obey is to Be Okay: Building Families on God's Foundation
In a world marked by brokenness and incompleteness, the family unit stands as one of God's most profound designs. Every family, in some way or another, experiences challenges and struggles. Yet within the biblical framework, we find a blueprint not just for surviving as families, but for thriving in ways that extend beyond our individual homes into our communities and the world.
The Foundation of Family Order
The apostle Paul's words in Ephesians 6:1-3 echo through the centuries with stunning relevance: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth."
These words draw directly from the fifth commandment given at Mount Sinai, recorded in Exodus 20:12. But there's something crucial we often miss when we read this passage. While it appears to be primarily directed at children, the deeper implication rests squarely on the shoulders of parents.
Parents: The First Called to Obey
The phrase "obey your parents in the Lord" carries profound weight. It assumes that parents themselves are living under the Lord's authority, surrendered to His ways, following His commands. This isn't about creating a hierarchy where parents demand blind obedience while living however they choose. Rather, it's about establishing a family structure where everyone, starting with the parents, is aligned under God's loving authority.
Before the fifth commandment tells children to honor their parents, the first four commandments establish the foundation: have no other gods, make no idols, honor God's name, and remember the Sabbath. These commands are directed first at parents. They call us to live lives where nothing takes priority over our relationship with God. Not our careers, not our hobbies, not our comfort, not even our reputation.
When parents consistently demonstrate that God is first in their lives, children receive something invaluable: an example worth following. The call isn't for parents to be perfect, but to be consistent in their pursuit of God, quick to repent when they fail, and transparent in their journey of faith.
The Devastating Cost of Inconsistency
Consider the extreme example of Joaquin Guzman, known as El Chapo, one of Mexico's most notorious drug cartel leaders. Currently serving life in prison, his four sons have followed in his footsteps, taking over his criminal operations. Two are now in custody, two remain fugitives. This illustrates a sobering truth: children honor and imitate what their parents model, whether that leads to life or destruction.
While most of us aren't leading criminal enterprises, the principle remains. Our lifestyle choices, our priorities, our values, our habits—all of these shape the next generation. Statistics confirm that children of parents struggling with addiction face vastly elevated risks of falling into the same patterns. The same holds true for sexual sin, dishonesty, and other destructive behaviors.
But here's the encouraging flip side: when parents actively engage in faith, prayer, worship, and church community, the likelihood of children following in those footsteps is equally elevated. Our examples carry tremendous power.
The Promises of Obedience
The promise attached to honoring parents is twofold: "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth." These aren't magical formulas guaranteeing specific outcomes, but general principles of blessing.
Research supports what Scripture teaches. A 1996 study in the United States found that communities with higher percentages of healthy marriages experienced eleven measurable benefits: better physical and emotional health, higher education rates, lower domestic violence, reduced crime, fewer teenage pregnancies, less juvenile delinquency, higher home ownership, lower migration rates, higher property values, and decreased need for social services.
These social and economic benefits exist even apart from spiritual considerations. But when you add the spiritual dimension—when families pray together, worship together, and submit to God's authority together—the blessings multiply exponentially.
From Believing to Receiving
Many of us in Western culture are comfortable with believing. We believe Jesus is the Son of God. We believe He died for our sins and rose again. We believe He's coming back. But belief alone isn't enough. We must move from believing to receiving.
Imagine receiving a phone call inviting you to join a professional sports team. You wouldn't respond by saying, "Thanks, but I'm good. I already believe you have a team. I own a jersey. I watch some games." That would be absurd. The invitation requires a response: either accept and join fully, or decline.
Jesus extends a similar invitation. He's not asking us to be distant fans who believe from afar. He's inviting us onto the team, under His leadership as both GM and Coach. Accepting means recognizing that He decides who's on the team. He determines how the game is played. He identifies our gifts and puts them into practice. He sets the practice schedule and game times.
In practical terms, this means getting baptized, joining a church community, discovering and using our spiritual gifts, studying Scripture, maintaining consistent prayer, and showing up faithfully to worship. Our children need to see that we're all in, not half-hearted fans but fully committed team members.
The Social Media Challenge
Today's parents face unique challenges, particularly around technology and social media. Statistics show that upwards of 50 percent of men and 40 percent of women engage in regular pornography consumption. The primary avenue where children are exposed to pornography is now social media platforms, with formerly-known-as-Twitter leading the way, followed by Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok.
These platforms claim to have safety measures, but the reality is that harmful content slips through constantly. Parents must ask hard questions: Why are our children on social media? What doors are we opening? What examples are we setting with our own device usage?
Building on the Bedrock
Our world can seem dark and scary, but followers of Jesus filled with the Holy Spirit are the light of the world. The call is clear: build your life and your family on the bedrock of Jesus Christ. Make sure your priorities, values, and practices align with Him. Give your children an example worth following.
This transformation happens one choice at a time, one example at a time, one life at a time, one family at a time, one community at a time. The teaching found in these passages has the capacity to change individual lives, transform families, renew churches, impact communities, and ultimately influence the world.
The invitation stands: not just to believe, but to receive. To surrender fully to Jesus as Lord and Savior. To live under His authority in every area of life. To model for the next generation what it looks like to follow Him wholeheartedly.
When we obey—when we align ourselves under God's design for family and life—it truly will be okay. Not perfect, not problem-free, but grounded in the promises of the One who created family in the first place. And that makes all the difference.
In a world marked by brokenness and incompleteness, the family unit stands as one of God's most profound designs. Every family, in some way or another, experiences challenges and struggles. Yet within the biblical framework, we find a blueprint not just for surviving as families, but for thriving in ways that extend beyond our individual homes into our communities and the world.
The Foundation of Family Order
The apostle Paul's words in Ephesians 6:1-3 echo through the centuries with stunning relevance: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth."
These words draw directly from the fifth commandment given at Mount Sinai, recorded in Exodus 20:12. But there's something crucial we often miss when we read this passage. While it appears to be primarily directed at children, the deeper implication rests squarely on the shoulders of parents.
Parents: The First Called to Obey
The phrase "obey your parents in the Lord" carries profound weight. It assumes that parents themselves are living under the Lord's authority, surrendered to His ways, following His commands. This isn't about creating a hierarchy where parents demand blind obedience while living however they choose. Rather, it's about establishing a family structure where everyone, starting with the parents, is aligned under God's loving authority.
Before the fifth commandment tells children to honor their parents, the first four commandments establish the foundation: have no other gods, make no idols, honor God's name, and remember the Sabbath. These commands are directed first at parents. They call us to live lives where nothing takes priority over our relationship with God. Not our careers, not our hobbies, not our comfort, not even our reputation.
When parents consistently demonstrate that God is first in their lives, children receive something invaluable: an example worth following. The call isn't for parents to be perfect, but to be consistent in their pursuit of God, quick to repent when they fail, and transparent in their journey of faith.
The Devastating Cost of Inconsistency
Consider the extreme example of Joaquin Guzman, known as El Chapo, one of Mexico's most notorious drug cartel leaders. Currently serving life in prison, his four sons have followed in his footsteps, taking over his criminal operations. Two are now in custody, two remain fugitives. This illustrates a sobering truth: children honor and imitate what their parents model, whether that leads to life or destruction.
While most of us aren't leading criminal enterprises, the principle remains. Our lifestyle choices, our priorities, our values, our habits—all of these shape the next generation. Statistics confirm that children of parents struggling with addiction face vastly elevated risks of falling into the same patterns. The same holds true for sexual sin, dishonesty, and other destructive behaviors.
But here's the encouraging flip side: when parents actively engage in faith, prayer, worship, and church community, the likelihood of children following in those footsteps is equally elevated. Our examples carry tremendous power.
The Promises of Obedience
The promise attached to honoring parents is twofold: "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth." These aren't magical formulas guaranteeing specific outcomes, but general principles of blessing.
Research supports what Scripture teaches. A 1996 study in the United States found that communities with higher percentages of healthy marriages experienced eleven measurable benefits: better physical and emotional health, higher education rates, lower domestic violence, reduced crime, fewer teenage pregnancies, less juvenile delinquency, higher home ownership, lower migration rates, higher property values, and decreased need for social services.
These social and economic benefits exist even apart from spiritual considerations. But when you add the spiritual dimension—when families pray together, worship together, and submit to God's authority together—the blessings multiply exponentially.
From Believing to Receiving
Many of us in Western culture are comfortable with believing. We believe Jesus is the Son of God. We believe He died for our sins and rose again. We believe He's coming back. But belief alone isn't enough. We must move from believing to receiving.
Imagine receiving a phone call inviting you to join a professional sports team. You wouldn't respond by saying, "Thanks, but I'm good. I already believe you have a team. I own a jersey. I watch some games." That would be absurd. The invitation requires a response: either accept and join fully, or decline.
Jesus extends a similar invitation. He's not asking us to be distant fans who believe from afar. He's inviting us onto the team, under His leadership as both GM and Coach. Accepting means recognizing that He decides who's on the team. He determines how the game is played. He identifies our gifts and puts them into practice. He sets the practice schedule and game times.
In practical terms, this means getting baptized, joining a church community, discovering and using our spiritual gifts, studying Scripture, maintaining consistent prayer, and showing up faithfully to worship. Our children need to see that we're all in, not half-hearted fans but fully committed team members.
The Social Media Challenge
Today's parents face unique challenges, particularly around technology and social media. Statistics show that upwards of 50 percent of men and 40 percent of women engage in regular pornography consumption. The primary avenue where children are exposed to pornography is now social media platforms, with formerly-known-as-Twitter leading the way, followed by Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok.
These platforms claim to have safety measures, but the reality is that harmful content slips through constantly. Parents must ask hard questions: Why are our children on social media? What doors are we opening? What examples are we setting with our own device usage?
Building on the Bedrock
Our world can seem dark and scary, but followers of Jesus filled with the Holy Spirit are the light of the world. The call is clear: build your life and your family on the bedrock of Jesus Christ. Make sure your priorities, values, and practices align with Him. Give your children an example worth following.
This transformation happens one choice at a time, one example at a time, one life at a time, one family at a time, one community at a time. The teaching found in these passages has the capacity to change individual lives, transform families, renew churches, impact communities, and ultimately influence the world.
The invitation stands: not just to believe, but to receive. To surrender fully to Jesus as Lord and Savior. To live under His authority in every area of life. To model for the next generation what it looks like to follow Him wholeheartedly.
When we obey—when we align ourselves under God's design for family and life—it truly will be okay. Not perfect, not problem-free, but grounded in the promises of the One who created family in the first place. And that makes all the difference.
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